Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Perpspective: It's a Beautiful Thing!

I don't usually write in a non-poetry format on this blog, but today I feel like sharing my heart in this way, so please bear with me. If you've only come here for poetry and are not interested in reading my long and drawn-out prose, I completely understand. :)

I won't lie. I have been bathing in a pool of self-pity over the last week-and-a-half. It has certainly not been pretty! My husband is training to be a police officer at an academy four hours away. He is gone all week long and will be for the next ten weeks. I miss him terribly and the stress of that lonliness mixed with the everyday weariness that comes with motherhood and teaching and keeping up with life had started to take its toll by yesterday. I was tired and anxious and I could feel a heaviness in my heart that could not have been more real if there had been a brick sitting on my chest. I hit my breaking point, and after a good cry and some genuine hyperventilating, my compassionate boss (who has been down the exact same road before) told me to go home and rest. Sleep has been difficult to come by since my husband has been gone. So I did, and after a refreshing nap and a much needed six hours of sleep last night, I found myself feeling much better today...a little more ready to face the world and my life with all of its little challenges.

Today, with the new-found clarity that rest does bring, I noticed that God seemed to be sending me little messages throughout the day. Not messages of "poor Kristin", but instead ones of "pull yourself up and look's not all that bad". The first one came via the internet. I received one of those email forwards that often go overlooked in my inbox. For some reason, I took the time to really look at this one. It was a picture of a four-year-old little girl who just could not let go of her daddy's hand. Her father is a soldier. He was about to be deployed to Iraq for 18 months. He had joined the formation with his fellow officers, but his daugther (a little blonde that reminded me so much of my own daughter) was still holding on to his hand even as he stood in the line. A year and a half, I thought to weekends, no breaks, no kisses, no hugs.

The second message was sent to me on the radio as I was driving to my church for choir practice this evening. I was listening to a Christian radio station and a woman called in to dedicate a song. Her husband has recently become a Christian as a result of a ministry inside the prison where he is currently incarcerated. They have been apart for four long years and he has only served half of his sentence. She called not only to dedicate the song, but also to let him know that she was waiting for him-staying true to the commitment that she had made. What a testimony of strength and enduring love.

These "messages" did more than just evoke sympathy in me for a few strangers whose lives have been affected by seperation from a loved-one. They brought me a little thing called perspective. These people and their stories reminded me that no matter what struggles life brings, if I take the time to look around, I will always be able to find someone whose circumstances are more difficult than my own. No matter what, there is always cause to be thankful...and so I am.

"Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18


  1. That's me too, Kristin..thanking God under all circumstances....and Life is what we make of it, with our perspective... :)

    I am happy, because I NEED to be happy! Live in the moment and you will always be happy...Now, let me stop this blah blah...

    Be happy, Kristin look forward to read your poems :)


  2. I think you are very, very brave..being away physically from someone whose presence is so loving is harsh, harder than someone who has no one. It would be like someone having a memory of heaven, and suddenly finding themselves on earth. I say you are being very gracious, and don't think for a second that you are less worthy of comfort because your husband won't be away that long. You know too that his choice of career is not easy, he is a caring man, he'll do a lot of good. The best thing though is whether you believe or not, souls don't die, real Love never disappears, or go away or stay away. One way or the other, that kind of Love finds itself back into the arms of the true Love. I could go on lol but I won't, I'm saying you're brave and do not think you don't have the right to miss that person as much as another, regardless of the time. But know this, you are not alone.

  3. Lots of rest and a good cry does help one see things differently. The joy of my life is on the other side of the world so I relate well to your words. Hang in there Kristin - soon you will be together again.

  4. Kristin
    I can relate to this so well.
    Well, not today but from a long time ago.
    My husband was separated from me on a remote tour to Korea(he was in the Air Force)
    I missed him so much that it felt like I was dying without him and I also was alone taking care of my little girl.
    I carried on as best as I could but it was so very hard and I was so full of self -pity.
    All I did was complain to him about how hard life was wothout him.
    Then, something happened.
    My husband got spinal meningitis and was not expected to live.
    When I got over to Korea he was just coming out of a coma.
    The Dr's kept telling me it was a miracle that he was stiil alive.

    To make a long story short, ever since that day when I was beside him as he came out of his coma, I am just so graeful to have him in my life.
    And i have never complained again if he had to be away from me.
    I stayed in Korea with him for 3 mths till he was released from the hospital.

    Oh, it was so hard to be separted from my daughter but she was with family and very well loved.

    I do believe it was a miracle that my husband lived and I thank God every day!
    Sorry to have go on and on but I thought that my story might help you.
    Hope so.

    Keep that new found Perpspective and all will be just fine.
    I just know it.

    You are blessed!


  5. Sending you, hugs, prayers and understanding....from the wife of an officer & soldier 19yrs and counting....:)
    Thanks for sharing your heart.

  6. Devika, thank you. Keep reminding me to choose happiness. :) worries, the poetry will return!!!

    Lorraine, Thank you so much for affirming my means a great deal to me.

    Janice, Thank you for your encouraging words! I did not know that you also were seperated from someone you love...but now that I know, I'm sending even more love your way. :)

    Margie, I cannot thank you enough for sharing such a personal and touching story with me...I can't even tell you what that did for me! What an amazing person you are! One of my favorite things about this experience of sharing my poetry in this format is that I have "met" some incredible people through it. Strangers from all over the world have become friends who feel very near. What a beautiful thing it is to share life with other people! Thank you for giving me a glimpse into yours. I'm truly touched.

    Julie, I will take all the hugs and prayers that you are wiling to give! :) Thank you so much, from the heart of one officer's wife to another. :)